We have all been there, whether its the 6464675445 invite to a baby shower, bachelor party, wedding, dinner outing or vacation, I’m sure many of us can relate when it comes trying to balance our commitment to our friends and our commitments to our financial goals. You never want a friend to feel like you aren’t supportive, but you also don’t want that support to come at the expense of your peace of mind and financial stability. No real friend would ever want you to put yourself in a bind to show them you care. It’s never personal, it’s financial.
On this blog post, we have a little bit of fun, outlining graceful ways to say no, when it doesn’t make “cents”
Message 1: Mr. Elaborate
In this scenario, as you can see, it wasn’t about saying no completely, but being intentional about what makes sense for you. He is already going on the trip out the country, spending another $40-$60 beforehand may be a bit over the top. In this case, the friend still opted to attend the dinner but let it be known he wasn’t planning to spend much money.
Message 2: Lunch Buddy
In this scenario, although she said no to lunch, she proposed a good alternative to still be with her co-workers during lunch, without having to spend money. Remember, it’s not about the food, it’s about the fellowship.
Message 3: Mr. midweek turn-up
In this scenario, he was very intentional upfront about why he couldn’t go. He also sowed the seed for how his friend should handle future invites. Instead of waiting until the last minute or the week of, let’s be intentional and give as much advance notice as possible. I know, every situation can’t be planned out and you have to go with the flow sometimes, but as busy adults, it’s not unreasonable to get those dates out there ahead of time, which also gives folks a chance to plan out their budget to incorporate it.
Message 4: Here comes the bride
Being in a wedding can be a very expensive undertaking. While this is a special time for the bride and groom, no one should have to go into debt to celebrate. Sometimes the bride is so engulfed by the experience that she forgets all her elaborate decisions also impact her guest and bridal party. Her bridesmaid did a great job of letting her know she would be there for the most important part of the experience but would be unable to attend the trip. Most friends will respect your decision as long as you are upfront.
Message 5: Mr. I ain’t got it but I’m gonna do it anyway
We all got that one friend, who really ain’t got it, but is always trying to live that baller life. You may have even said to yourself, how can they afford to do all that? Well, the truth is, they probably can’t. You’ve tried to give them some insight into their ways, but at this point, they are who they are. You don’t condemn them for how they live, you simply make decisions that are in alignment with your lifestyle without being influenced by someone who isn’t the most responsible. Living check to check is not the move. We off that!
So if you are ever having trouble trying to figure out the best way to gracefully say no, just refer back to this post for a little inspiration. Big thanks to my wife, Majesty for being my “friend” on the other end of these messages. I think I’m pretty good at scripting scenarios, I might need to go into screenwriting…we will see 🙂